Contests, Feedback, and Editors...Oh My!

The hardest thing to do in writing is let go of the manuscript and give it to someone else to read. What an incredible risk that is! You are putting yourself and your words and ideas out for others to judge. Yikes! It’s hard to let go and put something you’ve worked so hard on and given so much to into the hands of a beta reader, or enter a contest, or find an independent editor.

Yet, that’s where I find myself. As if querying agents and publishers isn’t scary enough, before you do that you need to get feedback on the story and find out what’s working and what isn’t. There is something sterile about the querying process. It’s usually a simple matter of thanks, but no thanks. (If you even get a response at all.) It’s hard to know why they don’t like your work, but they don’t. Ok, pick up and move on to the next person on the list. But entering contests, seeking out beta readers, and searching for editors is next level for me. I have to actually give them my work, either the entire thing or an excerpt.

Recently, I entered a contest with my newest work in progress. I don’t enter contests to win (although it might be nice), but rather to gain the feedback they promise. This requires me to submit a piece of the work and have its effectiveness judged based upon certain criteria. The contest I entered promised three critiques based on their rubric. Two scores were better than I expected, and one was horrific. Now, let’s focus on what that means. For me, the two positive scores meant I was doing something right. I got their attention. They like the premise. There was promise in the work. The negative review was harder to take at first. I felt threatened and even questioned whether I can do this thing called writing. On closer inspection, after getting my emotions out of the way (pouting for a couple of days), I looked at the feedback the judge gave. There were some items that did need to be addressed. I was able to go back to the story and work out some of those criticisms. The comments made could help my story. Some of the feedback, however, didn’t even address what was on the rubric. For example, the judge made comments about the formatting that weren’t germain to the story itself (Let me say here, that I followed the contest’s formatting guidelines to the letter. Clearly, the judge didn’t know what those were.) Those I could let go of and throw out. (Apparently, not completely over it.😆)

I’ve also given both of my novels to beta readers. Let me say upfront, I have amazing beta readers. They read widely in the romance genre and know what makes a good story. They make comments in the manuscript and type up notes. They sit with me for hours over lunch or dinner and help me make sense of what I got right and what needs work. I can never thank them enough. Their input is invaluable.

This brings me to seeking out an editor. This is really sticking my neck out. These people are supposed to know what they’re doing. I have to be open to the criticism they offer and be willing to make changes accordingly. One editor offered a small sample based on the first five pages so I have an idea what I can expect. This is important for me because I’ve never done this before. One offered a free half hour consultation so that we could discuss the first few pages I sent, talk about those, and see if we would be a good fit. The third said I wasn’t ready for a developmental edit. AHHHHHH!! That sent me reeling. I didn’t realize my writing sucked so badly. What am I doing wrong? I guess I can’t do this thing I’ve grown to love that has been a dream since childhood. Feeling insufficient makes me feel like a failure. But again, after getting the emotions out of the way, I had to think about the areas she pointed out that need work. She did offer to do some coaching calls. I’m still deciding if that’s the route I want to take. This led me to do some more research into the different types of editing, where I am at, and what I need. It’s not an easy route to take. There is much to learn and much to consider.

Am I doing the right thing? Can I stick my neck out and allow others to critique my work to make it better? What if they tell me I suck at this? What are the next steps?

I hate feeling vulnerable and out of control, but at the end of the day, if I want to be traditionally published and have people buy my book, I don’t have a choice. I could stick with the product I have now and self-publish it as is. Is that the best choice? Is that the right thing to do? There are many quality writers who self-publish their work. They make a lot of money doing that. But would I be putting my best work out there for people to purchase? Even if I self-publish, I still need to have the manuscript edited. I still have to take the risk that someone will tell me the piece isn’t ready for publication. (Notice I didn’t say perfect. Because I do know that nothing is perfect, no matter how hard I work at it.)

Writing is deeply personal. These are my thoughts and feelings on the page. These are characters I have created and whom I love (even when I hate them). If I want to be a published author, I have to take the risk to let others read what I’ve written. Vulnerability is part of the territory. Maybe that will become easier over time. Somehow, I don’t think so because every work is unique and while I may push the boundaries of those fears of vulnerability and not being good enough, I will never conquer them completely. It’s the human condition, or at least my human condition.